What I'm listening to right now...
Nina Simone - My Funny Valentine

I lost myself on a cool damp night
Gave myself in that misty light
Was hypnotized by a strange delight
Under a lilac tree
I made wine from the lilac tree
Put my heart in its recipe
It makes me see what I want to see
and be what I want to be
When I think more than I want to think
Do things I never should do
I drink much more that I ought to drink
Because it brings me back you...

Lilac wine is sweet and heady, like my love
Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, like my love
Listen to me... I cannot see clearly
Isn't that she coming to me nearly here?
Lilac wine is sweet and heady where's my love?
Lilac wine, I feel unsteady, where's my love?
Listen to me, why is everything so hazy?
Isn't that she, or am I just going crazy, dear?
Lilac Wine, I feel unready for my love...

Sometimes it's lilac wine, and sometimes it's other little bits of manna that make it o so hard. But they shut off the screaming, the anger, and the burning, burning rage.

And there's a very small voice who just wants to be heard, God let him.

That ultimately, despite slowing the effects of his heart, he leaves the vitals no more ready for action than sleeping guards in a guardhouse, and that the man in charge up top, all the way up in the head - well, he sometimes dances round on the controls like he was trying to learn to fly. We can feel his lifts and swoops, oh, and the crashes.

And maybe he finds himself sometimes irrationally and completely afraid of the dark, and screams, and screams.

No one comes. He'd rather they did, cos then they could show him that the demon isn't gonna do it.

When he was 2, when his parents were there - they told him that the black horde he could see, the small evils, weren't gonna get him. But they tried to help move the black things anyway. They told him that God had him, but it didn't mean that those things wouldn't try to get real close.

And sure enough, everytime he's ever been way too tired, there they are - they wink at him through his eyelids, and then they stand, in lines and curls and lines, marching to show the complexity of a world below our line of focus. And the intricacy drives you nuts, so that his head starts to burn, and he has to scream to get away from them. Or, in the dark, he is doomed to follow them, follow their train.

Terror. Irrational. Uncontrollable.

The small voice never leaves.

BUT none of it can conquer LOVE, which is so damn strong. None of it can make you forget how much you love your friends and family. How much you love your city, your college, your workplace - all those people, who are afflicted on all sides by every thing that attacks.

How every good cause can prosper because He is with us.

Face your demons.
Love unconditionally in response
Make a difference in everyone's life, but start small with one person.

past-time - future-time

Les' Love Child - May 02, 2006
Fight your evils - July 08, 2005
Real freedom - May 05, 2005
And the Saints go strolling on - April 16, 2005
Sky blue crap - April 13, 2005